Part of recovering from burnout is to understand how you got there in the first place. It always starts with your value set and how far away from it you’ve deviated. I offer a training called “North Star Value Finding” and I thought it was only fair that I share my results from my North Star Values training.
I do this training for myself every so often to see how things evolve and change, and what stays the same. It’s eye-opening to see where some of the words come from, and how in tune they are with my triggers. When you take the training you’ll see for yourself what I mean by them a yin yang relationship. Here are my open, unedited results:
My Value Words:
Honesty
To myself, and to others. Don’t make it something it’s not
Integrity
Mean what you say and say what you mean
Curiosity
Always be willing to learn and be wrong
Fearless
There’s very little in life that can’t be undone, so what do you have to lose?
Connection
It feeds my soul and fills my cup
My Triggers:
Triggers are events that reinforce stories that we have running in the background of our subconscious. Stories of how we show up in life and how we have to move through life. An example could be “I’ve always been untalented. It’s my lot in life”
All of mine boil down to: “Not appreciated” or “Not good enough.”
Being talked over
This reinforces the idea of being disrespected and dismissed. “Not good enough.”
No one helping or pitching in
This reinforces the idea that I have to do everything alone and I have to suffer to make anything happen.
Not getting credit form something when I feel I deserve it
I work my ass off, better believe I want the credit. But, really now, it’s not necessary! It is a story that reinforces I’m not being appreciated.
Admired Qualities I See in Others:
Effortless, inspirational speaking
There are some who are geniuses at this. I’ve been practicing and for an introvert who has self-esteem issues, it’s been a downright journey to get up every day and practice. I am worlds better, there is a long way to go.
Creating motivation of others
I see leaders who can inspire and rally, talk to the collective “we” – I’m working on taking it from my story to our story. Again, a practice.
Being physically fit
I had a limiting belief that I would always be thick and out of shape. Then I discovered my rheumatoid arthritis actually hinders me from working out regularly so I easily dismissed getting even gentle movements in that would make a difference. Walking, yoga and swimming are excellent choices for me and I’ve dedicated 3x a week to these.
Being fearless of judgment
Ugh. Daily practice.
Being successful and OWNING it
Marie Forleo comes to mind here. She’s downright giddy that she’s successful and owns it! It also means she gets to help more people while living the life she wants. #ownership
My Fears:
People will see me as broken
In sharing my story, a lot of people read it as attention-seeking. Stories are how we learn from each other. It’s actually my intention to relate and hopefully help someone who’s going through something similar.
People will disagree with me and I will have to argue my stance and I’m not intelligent enough to do so.
This comes from a fear of not being smart enough. I think even if I couldn’t defend it in the moment, I could come back with some deeply researched information. It’s the thought of not having it immediately at my disposal that makes me feel less-than.
I might not be successful again, it was a one-off
I’ve created other highly successful businesses, but do I have it in me to do it again in a completely different field? The fear it feeds is I’m not smart enough again.
My freak-out word:
Squirrel. I mean, how often do we say squirrel in the middle of a heated moment?
My greatest attributes:
I’m a constant beginner and always learning.
I immerse myself in knowledge, devouring a book weekly, enrolling in courses, and avidly tuning into podcasts. Across the country, I attend lectures, workshops, seminars, and conferences, embracing each experience with the curiosity of a blank slate. Teach me, I know nothing.
I gather no moss.
I’m always moving. I don’t let fear stop me. I move, even if it’s slightly off course at times.
I’m a do-er.
I say what I am going to do. I create constantly for myself and others.
My North Star Principals
These were adopted from a pamphlet that I got at the Summit LA event. I loved them so much I taped them into my notebook and decided to include them in my life’s mantra, adding a little sparkle and few others to the list.
Self and family first
Everything else second
Be your most hospitable self
Be welcoming, I go out of my way to connect with people and see their pain and offer solace
Embrace the unexpected
Unpredictable moments can be the most meaningful
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Have flexible expectations and explore new ways of perceiving yourself and others
Build relationships
I’m not into “connecting.” It’s about building long-lasting lifelong relationships. Elevate the conversation, respect yourself and others
Show love
To everyone and anyone, including yourself
Life is a university
Everyone has something to learn and something to teach. Take an intellectual, spiritual and creative journey
Be present
Disconnect to connect
Play
While searching for value and evolution, remember to enjoy it just for the fun of it
I’d love to hear from you what you get out of the North Star Training and if you learn something surprising about yourself.
