I spent fifteen years trying to unlock my personal growth. I was doing talk therapy, reading all the books, going to workshops, and so much more. Although those things provided lots of healing, I was still finding myself stuck, staring at an overwhelming number of obstacles in my way.
Maybe you’re feeling some of that too.
If you’ve found it difficult to take steps toward the things you are wanting in life, like:
💫 Your purpose
🌹 The relationship(s) you desire
🎁 Receiving
🧍 Taking up space
🧠 Changing patterns that aren’t serving you
🌞 Feeling good and regulated most of the time
🏄 Enjoying your life
I want you to know it makes so much sense.
It’s not happening because something is wrong with you. In fact, your system is working exactly as it’s meant to. And most importantly, I want you to know this can change.
Let’s talk a little bit about why you may be feeling stuck.
1. Most important thing to understand is: THE BATTLE OF OUR PARTS
We’ve all experienced this. A part of us is so ready to step toward the things we desire and we may even feel excited about it.
But when we go and step toward the thing, we find ourselves shut down, blank, exhausted, overwhelmed, confused and unable.
2. Why is this happening?
The stuckness we experience is a result of our protective parts not knowing we are safe to have the things we deeply desire. They aren’t trying to harm us, they’re trying to protect us!
If you’re thinking, “but the things I want are safe to have!” They may not have always been safe.
So your protective parts are simply saying, “I’m going to make sure we stay away from things like: being seen, taking up space, using our voice, vulnerability, having needs, receiving, etc.
3. Let’s get curious about how you might be finding yourself stuck!
- Is there an area in your life where you’re finding yourself stuck? Take a moment to think about that. For now, just choose one area.
- Now, let’s reflect! Have you experienced anything in the past that was unsafe in this area?
→ Example: “I am stuck and unable to step toward being seen in my purpose. In the past, it wasn’t safe to be seen in my family or I was made to feel small, less than, etc. It wasn’t safe to use my voice, be seen, people were dangerous, etc.”
4. Let’s talk about how we change this to get unstuck
We can’t rationalize or will our way out of being stuck.
The way to get unstuck is to show, not tell, these protective parts that we are safe to now have the things that once weren’t safe.
How do we begin showing our protective parts that we’re safe?
5. Here are two simple things you can work on:
⭐️ Take tolerable steps. That means breaking down the steps within the step and keeping them small so that your system doesn’t overwhelm you. (IE: The first step of “I want to start a podcast” might be “listening to a similar podcast in my genre.”)
⭐️ Begin to regulate your nervous system. Dysregulation (anxiety, worry, depression, hopelessness, etc.) are our system thinking we aren’t safe, and this keeps us stuck. Regulating our nervous systems is what allows us to heal, feel better, and get unstuck. Engaging in regulating resources is a part of how we do this, which means anything that supports us in feeling safe, good and present.
→ Start by making a list of your regulating resources. For example: go on a walk, dance, be in nature with others, spend time with animals, breathwork, etc. What feels regulating for you?
Your healing is the answer to getting unstuck. And we will do it together, one brave step at a time.
With kindness and belief in your healing,
Shawna
